I have trust issues
I wish we could go back to the days when I trusted you implicitly
The best I can muster now is benefit of the doubt
I’m not sure there’s a way back to the way we were
It’s difficult when you meet someone that you just know you’ve hopelessly fallen for.
You’re just friends, she’s with somebody else.
You see her almost every day. She gives you that smile, that one you’re absolutely in love with.
She looks at you with those beautiful eyes, talking about something silly, in that way that she always does. You swear that you’re trying to listen to what she’s saying intently, but you’re lost in those eyes. And that face. You swear to god that only an angel can look this beautiful, every single day.
She confides in you with personal things, she trusts you. She tells you things that she wouldn’t just tell anybody. You love this, because it’s like she knows that you appreciate her friendship. She sees the good in you, and brings it out of you, in a way you didn’t think you could anymore.
When you see her, you imagine what it would be like if you were the lucky man who was with her. You don’t imagine big things…just little things. Like, maybe her curling up next to you at a bonfire and feeling her head upon your chest. Or seeing her pretty face first thing in the morning, giving her a kiss on the forehead, holding her tightly.
You just knew when you met her that you were going to fall for her. You didn’t know where this feeling came from. You hadn’t felt it in a long time, maybe never in fact. But you knew she was going to mean something to you, in some way. Like you had crossed paths in life for a reason. And you used to never believe in that kind of thing.
Seeing it build into a true friendship was beautiful. It was something you hoped for, hoping you would get to know her, to truly learn who this person was. She’s been hurt, she’s been broken, she’s had such a difficult path in life. That didn’t change how you felt about her, for she is a kind, sweet, beautiful person. And that is all that matters to you.
You can’t help but notice that the person she is with takes her for granted. He seems to do everything he can to lose her. You can’t imagine ever taking her for granted. You can’t imagine not cherishing this person for all that she is, every day. You hope maybe you will get a chance to show her this someday. But you don’t want to see her heart broken by this person…you want her to be happy.
Mainly, you can’t help but feel thankful for having met this person. For having had a connection with such a beautiful soul. You never could have imagined meeting someone this special. And it is difficult to see her so often, and know that she is with someone else. But you still appreciate this girl for all that she is. And you know that if she keeps smiling at you in that way that only she can, things will be OK.
I never knew how much
It was good while it lasted
I lost it
I lost you
At least that’s what I feel
Hoping against all hope
That I have it wrong
And that I still have you
That all is not lost
My kingdom I will gladly give
For you. For us.
You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone
Nothing makes a person sadder than the fact that he feels alone even in a crowded place
Some days I look at my straight razor and think
It would only be too easy
Would you miss me?
Would you even cry?
It would be too easy.
One flick of the wrist.
A crimson bloom emanating from my neck.
A nick on the artery.
Then darkness sets in.
The cold embraces you.
The void beckons. Nothingness awaits.
Then I stop to think if the knife thinks the same way.
Oh borrowed time!
To steal from the hands of fate that which was never yours to begin with.
How long? How long until you wake up from the dream? How much time do you have left until you are forced to return the destiny that was never yours to begin with?
To die. To die a thousand tiny deaths. Having so much to say. Only to watch you walk away.
The last of the Utz is gone
The scent of gardenias linger in the rain
Both remind me of loss
Both remind me of what was once was
Both remind me of how we used to be
I’d like to forget about the gardenias
I’d like to forget about you
But I won’t
The gardenia’s scent will linger in the rain
And the Utz is gone never to be regained